Archive for: October 6, 2006

Hello, folks. My name is John Q. McWhitey, and I want to be your next representative in Inconsequential State Office That Should Be Appointed Anyway, Place 12. If I may have a few minutes of your time, I’d like to tell you why.

---

VALUES
John Q. McWhitey has values. He believes in things. Important things. Do you have an issue that’s important to you? Well, it’s important to John Q. McWhitey, too. He’s a man of the people, and you’ll never catch him bowing down to special interest groups. He’ll take their money, sure, but he’ll never bow down to them. He has very weak knees.

EXPERIENCE
John Q. McWhitey has over 50 years of experience in public life. He’s in public all the time. That’s where his doctor and his grocery store are located. He’s spent his entire career dedicating himself to developing tasks and abilities that allow him to do things this office requires. You can bet that with John Q. McWhitey in Place 12, people will say, “There is an elected official in that office.”

PROMISES
If ifs, ands, and buts were candy and nuts, we’d all have a Merry Christmas. That’s what John Q. McWhitey’s mother told him, and that’s what he’s here to tell his opponents. It’s easy to make promises on the campaign trail, but how many of them are ever fulfilled? How many times have we heard a candidate promise to cure cancer, eradiate world hunger, or launch Osama bin Laden into the sun, only to be disappointed mere days after their inauguration? Too many times.

John Q. McWhitey will change that. If you elect John Q. McWhitey, you can sleep easy knowing that he’ll stand by his word when he says he’ll never duck out on a bill, never punch a baby, and never blow up the moon. Those are promises you can take to the bank.

---

So on November 7, remember me, John Q. McWhitey. I vow that my name will be on the ballot with an appropriate method of selecting it as your choice. Let me be your next Inconsequential State Officer That Should Be Appointed Anyway, Place 12.
“I’m a sentient, carbon-based, bipedal humanoid, I stand for values you stand for, and I remind you of your grandfather.”www.johnqmcwhitey4whatever.com

Attorney General candidate John Tyson criticized the incumbent Troy King while campaigning in Huntsville:

Tyson criticized Republican incumbent Troy King for focusing on prosecution and expecting lower crime, which he said is “doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different result.

“That’s not enough,” Tyson said. “The traditional approach, by itself, is too little, too late.”

Tyson said better interagency communication and attention to troubled youth are needed to prevent crime.

Troy King’s ideal method of law enforcement seems to be to make everything illegal and punishable by death. Then the trusty fellows in law enforcement and justice (like Troy King) can decide who gets thrown in jail and who gets to live a citizen’s life. I’m not going to lie — I obviously just don’t like Troy King. He’s a homophobe, a headline grabber, and an inexperienced prosecuter. He spends more time pushing for “tough on crime” legislation than he does serving as attorney general. He does this because it gets his name in the paper and people will say, “Oh, he’s tough on crime. Let’s vote for him.” It wouldn’t take a strong opponent candidate for me to vote against Troy King.

Lucky for me, however, there is a strong candidate in John Tyson. I’d like to know more about he intends to recognize “problem children” and how much power he wants the program to have, but I believe in the approach. On APTV before the summer, Tyson took the opposite approach of Troy King and even said there was enough legislation on the books to prosecute criminals. Let the legislature worry about making the laws. We need an attorney general who will do the job he is elected to do.

• Loretta Nall for Governor links to this post with My First Vote 

Maybe you’ve seen the “Voter Education Ads” starring the Secretary of State (and candidate) Nancy Worley (D). Or maybe you’ve heard the radio ads reminding Alabama to buckle their seat belts from Governor (and candidate) Bob Riley (R). A bipartisan group of state lawmakers say that this amounts to nothing more than taxpayer-funded advertising when these “public service announcements” appear so close to an election. These PSAs cost millions of dollars and are funded exclusively with taxpayer money. They are therefore announcing legislation to restrict candidates from appearing in taxpayer-funded PSAs for six months prior to an election.

The listed supporters of the legislation include Reps. Blaine Galliher (R-Gadsden), Neal Morrison (D-Cullman), Mike Hill (R-Birmingham), Jimmy Martin (D-Clanton), Cam Ward (R-Alabaster), and Leslie Vance (R-Phenix City). The two PSAs listed above receive the most criticism. Riley and Worley had different reactions. Riley, who received criticism for appearing in radio ads for the “Click it or Ticket” campaign, says he supports the legislation:

Jeff Emerson, a Riley spokesman, said the governor would sign the bill into law if it was passed by the Legislature.

“He supports the bill,” Emerson said. “He thinks it’s a good idea.”

Nancy Worley, on the other hand, sees this as a possible conspiracy because some of the representatives who announced the legislation represent areas in Shelby County, where her Republican opponent in the general election lives. She also believes that only an “elected” official will be trusted by the voters.

Although she did not say she opposed the bill, she questioned the effectiveness of public service announcements that do not feature the elected official in charge of the office.

“Does an actor or actress have more credibility than someone for whom you voted?” she said.

Because “credibility” is such an important factor when you’re reminding people to take a photo ID to the polls. Like some guy in Coaling, AL is going to say, “I know that commercial, paid for by the state agency responsible for elections, says I should bring a photo ID to the polls with me, but that was an actress so I think I’ll leave my ID at home.” Aside from that, is there really any question whether a random actor or actress would have more credibility than Nancy Worley?

I’m not sure how much it is going to matter that Governor Haley Barbour of Mississippi endorses Luther Strange in his bid for lieutenant governor of Alabama, but he did. But seriously, did anyone expect Republican Haley Barbour to endorse the Democrat Jim Folsom?

“People don’t want the politics of 50 and 60 years ago,” said Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour. “They are looking for strong leaders to take our states in a new direction that will generate more prosperity and more equity. Luther Strange personifies that.”

I’ve been hearing this message alot against Folsom. Is the idea to tell people that if you vote for Folsom, whose father was the governor in the 40s and 50s, you’re voting for a racist, backwards past? That’s the only thing I can think of for why they would talk about the “horrors of the past.” If that’s the message, it is completely at odds with history as Big Jim Folsom was fairly progressive and populist for the time and is usually referenced in history books as a contrast to George Wallace’s later racist politics. Also, let’s ignore the fact that we’re talking about Little Jim, not Big Jim.

In other news, two business groups, the Chamber of Commerce Association of Alabama and the National Federation Independent Businesses, have endorsed Bob Riley for governor. They say they like his Plan 2010.

Apparently, the secretary of state is not being very nice about being humiliated and stripped of her duties by a federal court for failing to meet federal election standards. The federal court appointed Governor Riley “Special Master” to oversee the 2006 election. At one point, she refused to deal with the governor’s committee, saying she would only talk to the governor himself.

Worley said she is cooperating with the governor’s office, but said she believes she should deal directly with the governor and not with individual members of the governor’s committee.

I guess she’s too important to talk to “mere employees” of the governor.

If you’re one of the 37% of registered voters who are planning to vote for Nancy Worley in November, you don’t deserve your right to vote (kidding).